The final day
Today was my last payday. When I wake up tomorrow I will be unemployed. I have no idea how I’m meant to feel about this, or how I do feel about it. But I do know, I can’t lose my point streak, so I spent an hour learning Italian on Duolingo, and successfully avoided my thoughts.
I kissed my husband at the door, cleaned the kitchen, and successfully continued avoiding my thoughts. I then sat and watched a documentary for half an hour, successfully avoiding my thoughts. An hour later I did a couple of loads of washing, cleaned the rest of the flat and continued avoiding my thoughts.
Clearly, I haven’t avoided my thoughts. It doesn’t matter how busy I make myself, today is the last day I’m employed. I can’t change that. I can, however, dust every skirting board in the flat, so that’s something.

Today was long
I looked at the time on my phone no less than 50 times today. Every time, a matter of a few minutes had passed. I did a task I was sure would take 30 minutes, it took 7. I did another task, 5 minutes had passed. Fuck.
Today was long.
I tried to do good Trad Wife things. I spent the day making the home so inviting. But that doesn’t take a day, does it?
As it was the final payday, I got me and my husband a final treat, and ordered the food for dinner from Waitrose rather than Tesco’s.
I can make a good dinner, that will take time. I can do something fancy. Something to make me feel useful.
Today was long.

Being a good Trad Wife
I met my husband at the door with a kiss. I then asked him if he needed or wanted anything. He didn’t. So, I just finished making dinner.
Dinner was great. It often is now. I still love cooking, but if every dinner is 10/10, nothing is special anymore. But it was great: pan fried chicken breast, on buttered leeks and roasted swede, with lemon broccoli, cauliflower cheese and roasted parsnips. The day was long. All I have to share and say is what we had for dinner. The day was long.
I was a good Trad Wife today. My husband came back from work to a lovely home, with a lovely wife, and had a lovely dinner. I’ve even made a lemon drizzle cake at the same time as dinner, and wrapped it for him to take to work tomorrow.
I don’t want to go back to the level of stress that made me a far from the ideal wife, friend and daughter. But I was bored today. The level of boredom I was worried I would face.
Tomorrow I’ll be officially unemployed. I imagine I’ll have some kind of feeling about that.
The Trad Wife round up:
Checked the time: 80+ times
Hours spent cleaning: 5
Current Duolingo level: 11
Unemployed officially: Tomorrow

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