The Accidental Trad Wife

Finances

Today is payday. I’m still on garden leave from my job and technically employed. But in two months we will potentially move to solely my husband’s wages. Our overall household income will drop by more than 50%. It’s unnerving.

As part of the original terms of the experiment, we’d said that all spending will come out of the joint account. But as I still have an income, we’ve agreed to keep to our previous arrangement: a 50/50 split on bills and spending. 

In my initial draft of today’s blog I’d listed some figures of future budgets and past spending. I’ve removed it. I could use the excuse that it’s crass to mention figures and talk about money, but that’s not the truth, I’m ashamed. 

The average couple in the UK spends £71 per week on groceries and £25 – £30 per week on eating out and takeaways. Needless to say, our spending is considerably more.

I’ve often joked we’re champagne socialists. But it’s hit me hard today. We are. I send a donation to the Trussell Trust. This doesn’t lift the guilt, and I don’t think it should. I’ve always known we were privileged, I just never sat with the feeling and really considered the extent. I don’t know what we’ll do differently in the future, I just know we have to change. 

There are over 7.3 million adults in the UK experiencing food insecurity. I already knew this statistic, I just didn’t sit with it. 

A mixed morning

I got up and went about my normal routine. I really should do the washing up the night before, it took me a lot of scrubbing with wire wool to get the lasagne pan clean. 

I hung up the sheets over the curtain rail in the lounge with hope that they’ll get enough sun to dry, then put in another load of laundry. We’re running out of Smol capsules. 

In my pre Trad Wife days I was part way through completing a level 7 apprenticeship in HR and learning strategy. I had a call with my apprenticeship tutor to formalise the break in learning. If I start a new job within a year I can pick it back up. It’s another uncertainty.

I tried on some dresses for a wedding we’re attending tomorrow. I landed on a Phase Eight petrol blue number. It came from a charity shop, but that was my choice. 

I put on my Levi’s, a Vans t-shirt, and my Nike high tops, cleaned my teeth with my Suri toothbrush and spritzed myself with Jo Malone perfume. I sat again considering my privilege, then grabbed my fjallraven tote bag and headed out for lunch and shopping with my mum.

Donburi discussions

We parked up and wandered around the shops and down the gardens to the beach. We chatted about how nice it is to live in a seaside town, growing up working class, and privilege. 

My mum wanted a big bowl of veg for lunch, she almost always wants a big bowl of veg for lunch, so I suggested Wagamama, where we’d be able to get a big bowl of veg for lunch. 

We had a build your own donburi each, mum had shitake with cauliflower rice, I had double prawn with brown rice. Over a yuzu and lychee G&T my mum said to me all feelings are valid, and reflection is a positive thing.

Housewife fails and tonight’s dinner

My husband was due home in an hour, I’d forgotten to take the washing out of the machine and he needs a shirt for tomorrow. I added an extra spin, took the shirt out, and put it on a hanger in the window, hopefully it’ll be dry by the morning. While I hang up the rest of the washing on an airer, it’s clear that a tissue was left in a pocket somewhere, half the clothes are dotted in fluff. Great. I order some lint rollers for next day delivery on Amazon, I can sort it tomorrow.

For dinner tonight, my husband wanted something lighter. So I prepared butterfly chicken breasts with a white wine, thyme and cream sauce, lemon and black pepper broccoli, sweet potato mash and parmesan crusted leeks. We enjoyed it. This meal cost half the average food bill for a week. 

The Trad Wife round up:

Debit card transactions: 5
Feeling: Reflective
Lint rollers ordered: 10
Adults in the UK experiencing food insecurity: 7.3 million