The Accidental Trad Wife

Productivity, or lack there of

Today there was no morning routine. I had nothing to do. I cleaned the kitchen after our friend left last night, and the rest of the flat was already clean and tidy. If I started the day cleaning, it would be for no other reason than to fill my time. So I didn’t.

I wasted my time in a different way, or just chose to spend it differently. I sat in bed and played mindless games on my phone. I matched one colourful shape with another, battled dragons and pointed balls at blocks. This was not productive. But I guess not all time needs to be. Sometimes just ‘taking your brain out’ for a couple of hours is a good thing, and I got a good dopamine hit from matching things and battling dragons. 

I painted my nails, hot pink. I really need to buy some marigolds, my varnish used to last at least two weeks.

My husband is away for the next two days. I have no shopping to buy, no dinners to make. I could, of course, make a fancy dinner for myself, and sometimes I do. But often when it’s just me to cook for, it’s more likely to be beans on toast or sausage and mash. 

At midday, I microwaved leftover BBQ beans from last night’s dinner, and grated some cheese on the top.

I had a nap. 

Guinness, Sauvignon and coffee

I met my mum early in the afternoon. We had a drink in the local dive bar, wandered round the shops, then had another drink in a different non-dive bar. 

We discussed trans rights, femininity and weird art. We also touched on weight. Like many people, I’ve struggled with my weight over the years. I’m currently 10 pounds overweight. I’ve been far more overweight, and I’ve hovered at being underweight to a point of concern. 

There’s a lot I could muse on about weight: media portrayal, mental health and Instagram culture as starters. I won’t hash over points we’re already all aware of. There’s not a lot more that can be said, or that will add anything new.

Instead I’ll tell you about me. In the past I’ve been obsessed to the point of a near constant awareness. I’ve counted every calorie. I’ve tried pills and contraptions. I’ve downloaded and religiously followed apps. I’ve followed every fad. And shamefully, I’ve visited websites that I hope no one else ever does. 

Now, I’m at peace, at least somewhat. I’ll always look in the mirror at bits of me that are too flabby and internalise that horrible feeling. But I’m determined to never go back to where I once was. I eat healthily, I drink a lot of water and occasionally I even exercise.

When the cat’s away

I realised there’s still some things on my goals for the week I haven’t achieved. 

I approach the waterfall of clothes in my wardrobe. There’s a lot that can go. I sort through my sweaters and dresses and fill a bin bag. Some went because of they were too small. Others because they were too big. There’s still many drawers to go through, but it’s a solid start. Tomorrow I might attempt my t-shirts, but that might take several people to decide what ‘quirky’ slogans and designs are most suitable for a woman approaching 40. 

Tonight I’ve decided against beans on toast or sausage and mash. I made the very simple treat I make myself when my husband is working away, cottage pie. When I first learned my husband didn’t like any kind of pie I had to seriously reconsider the relationship. But, I’ll forgive him this transgression, and just make myself a cottage pie whenever he works away. 

I watched ‘Wednesday’ on Netflix and ate the cottage pie straight out of the pan.

The Trad Wife round up:

Household chores: 0
Cottage pies cooked: 1
Weight: 10lbs over
Feeling: Accepting in my lack of productivity